


House Trained

by TinyBat



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Batfam bonding!, Gen, and leaves are awesome, because Damian is a wily little beast that needs kid training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-10
Updated: 2012-11-10
Packaged: 2017-11-18 08:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyBat/pseuds/TinyBat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damian is learning about the inner workings of his new pet and his brothers can't help but have some fun with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Trained

**Author's Note:**

> Because I wanted an excuse for using the "all 27 bones" threat.

"I dunno Dick, you sure he's house trained?" queried a reclining Tim while his part-time mentor and full-time brother surveyed a large dog and a small boy.

"Yes, i'm sure he's house trained. He's been living here. He won't mess on the carpet. Alfred's seen to it because like with most things, it's Bruces fault. So yeah, house trained is a thing." muttered Dick, still fussing over the two figures.

The dog was a mass of sleek black fur, muscle, and happiness only found in large animals convinced they're atleast five times smaller than they actually are. The boy was half feral, covered head to toe in leaves and dirt, with a snarl on his lips and flushed cheeks. There was a football by his feet, covered in slobber and grass. 

"I just moved it! I wanted to go outside to stretch and the damnable thing was in the way! I didn't think the dog would chase after it, then knock me over bringing it back! Any more house trained cracks and i'll tear out your jugulars myself, there's no need for me to get this beast to do it." Damian indicated Titus, who was sitting on his haunches wagging his tail happily and staring up at Dick with a big doggy grin. Dick was the most generous with dog treats so Titus followed him like an oversized lamb.

"He's a dog, Damian. It's a dog thing. You throw, they chase. For someone who prides himself on his skills of observation, i'm shocked that you missed the enormous pile of leaves Alfred raked yesterday." snarked Tim, who got up, stretched and strode over. Ribbing Damian was a much loved pass time for him. While they didn't get along, it was a common thing now to see the two of them share a space and not instantly start needling each other. 

Dick had to laugh, Damian had the best training in the world for a very specific set of things, but he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Titus, a gift from Bruce, didn't behave like an oversized cat. Damian probably would have preferred a cat, but the dog stayed and the boy was adapting.

"I'm still not buying it Dick. The dog can stay, he knocks when he wants out. But the kid is downright filthy. Look at him! He's covered in grass and leaves and god knows what else. If Alfred found out we let the little monster in he'd kill us!"

Tim's hand clapped down on Damian's shoulder, he didn't move. Titus looked up, still wearing his doggy grin, and Dick went still. Damian and non violent physical contact were still in the toddler phase. 

"If you don't remove your hand immediately Drake, I will break all 27 bones in it. Even the small ones that are really difficult to get at." snarled the leaf covered boy. The sad thing was, he probably wasn't joking and he certainly wasn't exaggerating. He knew all 27 bones and exactly which ones to break for maximum inconvenience. 

Dick then decided to step in, he knew Tim meant well but Damian needed a wash and the football needed moving before the carpet stained. He stepped between the two boys and gently removed Tim's hand from Damian's shoulder.

"Tim, I think you're right. He isn't house trained. We really should put him back outside" A look passed between them and all in the space of two seconds Tim had Damian's feet and Dick had his arms and they were awkwardly shuffling out to the leaf pile with Titus at their heels. 

An hour later, Alfred and Bruce pulled into the driveway and saw the three boys shoving, diving, jumping, and wrestling each other into Alfred's hard work with Titus barking and running around the tangle of limbs. Neither of them said a word.


End file.
